I realize the Idea of encouraging men to be gentlemen is a hard sell. Especially when we are already burdened with many "standards" to live by. The Code seems to be yet another impossible list to keep, like the ten commandments, an employer's or profession's code of ethics, or the unwritten and often conflicting expectations culture places on our manhood. Yet I don't see the Code as another list but a clarification of many of those lists we already struggle to keep. What makes us gentlemen may be the fact that we all attempt to live by some set of standards deeper than the immediate appetite that is grumbling to be satisfied. Much of our "Promise Keeping" to borrow a phrase from another men's movement, is done by something in our nature that drives us to live a certain way, act a certain way, and treat others a certain way.
In that, I want to encourage you, the reader, You are not burdened with another standard but instead honored for the standards you already keep, with the title, gentleman.
Be all you resolve to be.
Mark
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
A strange origin for an idea
Where did I get the idea for this blog?
Of all places the deciding moment for this idea was a reply to a post on Cold Steel Knives Facebook page. Before that it has been a string of events pivoting at the 2011 NRA Show and annual Meeting in Pittsburgh PA. I say pivoting because I can go farther back and say it could well have begun in the Summer of 1996 when I began studies at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, a few short weeks after graduating from the Virginia Military institute.
What do all of these events have to do with each other. Well, as you read "The code" you'll probably understand that there is a certain type of person who is attracted to such a place as VMI. In my case, I was attracted to the place at a college fair when I read about the school's Honor Code. After four years, I graduated from VMI, with a degree in History, minors in English and Psychology, and a Reserve forces duty commission in the US Army. My goal was to serve God and country as a Chaplain in the Army, in pursuit of which I had gained acceptance to a Seminary in my denomination, the Presbyterian Church USA. Going from a four year military college, unknowingly to a liberal theological seminary was quite a culture shock for me and I quickly learned that the values I absorbed as a kid in a Christian home, a conservative Presbyterian church, and Catholic Schools, and had codified under VMI's discipline and Honor Code were not going to make me a popular guy in a progressive and particularly feminist heavy, theological school.
Between the ending of my brief and inglorious military career (due to a medical issue that, had I lied or omitted reporting, would never have been an issue) and immersion in a progressive religious culture that said guys like me were the problem rather than any part of the solution to the problems, of the world, I began to believe there was something wrong with me.
While I somehow managed to survive seminary and graduate, and even become ordained in a denomination that continually reminded me that resistance to a progressive agenda was futile and I could at best hope to be "tolerated" as long as I kept my archaic and recalcitrant values to myself, the underlying message in those circles was there was not a place where self described "gentlemen" fit in.
Fast forward to the eleventh year of my career as a pastor and a trip to the NRA convention. Those whose understanding of "gun nuts" is informed only by the media would expect a very different scene than the one I saw in Pittsburgh. I saw a gathering over the two days I was there, of over 71,000 of the most courteous mass gathering of people I have even been around, similar to even what I had seen at massive gatherings of "Promise Keepers" and the first experience in years of a place where I genuinely fit in. As a result of that gathering I became reacquainted to an all but abandoned love of shooting sports that I had neglected for the last 10 years. I also began exploring blogs and Facebook pages and other sources of information related to this hobby and other outdoor, and defensive pursuits. (Remember that value from "The code" that the gentleman "is the descendant of the knight, the crusader the defender of the defenseless etc.")
Anyway the next set of connections runs pretty fast. I recently discovered a show on the Discovery Channel that feeds my interest in these things, "Sons of Guns", and after becoming a fan on Facebook saw a video of a past episode where one of the guys attempted to build a Katana Machete I commented on the Cold Steel Page that I knew that they produced a similar item which led to a string of comments including a brief conversation about what a great show "Sons of Guns" is and how important it is that "we" that is the community of like minded people exhibiting what Cold Steel calls the "warrior mindset", encourage one another in our better pursuits of those values. Specifically, after agreeing that the Owner of Red Jacket, the subject of "Sons of Guns", should be respected for his accomplishments, I said,
"If those of us with like mindsets don't stand together and encourage each other our kind will become even more marginalized by "society". I get annoyed by blogs where the participants call anyone who hasn't done what they've done "....bags" etc. or use the word "sucks" until it has no meaning. Encourage, teach, and enjoy what is good."
Indeed I have a pet peeve about the word "Sucks" being used for anything that isn't the author's favorite and conversations that resort to name-calling rather than encouraging a mutually shared interest. Before I had time to complete the post and hit "enter" another poster wrote calling the very person we were talking about a vulgar four letter term for female anatomy.
This was where I was inspired. Is it possible to create a forum for men who pursue a gentlemanly lifestyle to share their ideas and encourage one another in their pursuit of honor? Time will tell.
Be whatever you resolve to be.
Mark
Of all places the deciding moment for this idea was a reply to a post on Cold Steel Knives Facebook page. Before that it has been a string of events pivoting at the 2011 NRA Show and annual Meeting in Pittsburgh PA. I say pivoting because I can go farther back and say it could well have begun in the Summer of 1996 when I began studies at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary, a few short weeks after graduating from the Virginia Military institute.
What do all of these events have to do with each other. Well, as you read "The code" you'll probably understand that there is a certain type of person who is attracted to such a place as VMI. In my case, I was attracted to the place at a college fair when I read about the school's Honor Code. After four years, I graduated from VMI, with a degree in History, minors in English and Psychology, and a Reserve forces duty commission in the US Army. My goal was to serve God and country as a Chaplain in the Army, in pursuit of which I had gained acceptance to a Seminary in my denomination, the Presbyterian Church USA. Going from a four year military college, unknowingly to a liberal theological seminary was quite a culture shock for me and I quickly learned that the values I absorbed as a kid in a Christian home, a conservative Presbyterian church, and Catholic Schools, and had codified under VMI's discipline and Honor Code were not going to make me a popular guy in a progressive and particularly feminist heavy, theological school.
Between the ending of my brief and inglorious military career (due to a medical issue that, had I lied or omitted reporting, would never have been an issue) and immersion in a progressive religious culture that said guys like me were the problem rather than any part of the solution to the problems, of the world, I began to believe there was something wrong with me.
While I somehow managed to survive seminary and graduate, and even become ordained in a denomination that continually reminded me that resistance to a progressive agenda was futile and I could at best hope to be "tolerated" as long as I kept my archaic and recalcitrant values to myself, the underlying message in those circles was there was not a place where self described "gentlemen" fit in.
Fast forward to the eleventh year of my career as a pastor and a trip to the NRA convention. Those whose understanding of "gun nuts" is informed only by the media would expect a very different scene than the one I saw in Pittsburgh. I saw a gathering over the two days I was there, of over 71,000 of the most courteous mass gathering of people I have even been around, similar to even what I had seen at massive gatherings of "Promise Keepers" and the first experience in years of a place where I genuinely fit in. As a result of that gathering I became reacquainted to an all but abandoned love of shooting sports that I had neglected for the last 10 years. I also began exploring blogs and Facebook pages and other sources of information related to this hobby and other outdoor, and defensive pursuits. (Remember that value from "The code" that the gentleman "is the descendant of the knight, the crusader the defender of the defenseless etc.")
Anyway the next set of connections runs pretty fast. I recently discovered a show on the Discovery Channel that feeds my interest in these things, "Sons of Guns", and after becoming a fan on Facebook saw a video of a past episode where one of the guys attempted to build a Katana Machete I commented on the Cold Steel Page that I knew that they produced a similar item which led to a string of comments including a brief conversation about what a great show "Sons of Guns" is and how important it is that "we" that is the community of like minded people exhibiting what Cold Steel calls the "warrior mindset", encourage one another in our better pursuits of those values. Specifically, after agreeing that the Owner of Red Jacket, the subject of "Sons of Guns", should be respected for his accomplishments, I said,
"If those of us with like mindsets don't stand together and encourage each other our kind will become even more marginalized by "society". I get annoyed by blogs where the participants call anyone who hasn't done what they've done "....bags" etc. or use the word "sucks" until it has no meaning. Encourage, teach, and enjoy what is good."
Indeed I have a pet peeve about the word "Sucks" being used for anything that isn't the author's favorite and conversations that resort to name-calling rather than encouraging a mutually shared interest. Before I had time to complete the post and hit "enter" another poster wrote calling the very person we were talking about a vulgar four letter term for female anatomy.
This was where I was inspired. Is it possible to create a forum for men who pursue a gentlemanly lifestyle to share their ideas and encourage one another in their pursuit of honor? Time will tell.
Be whatever you resolve to be.
Mark
An Idea whose time has come...and some would say has gone.
"Without a strict observance of the fundamental code of honor (cf. That a gentleman does not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do) no man no matter how polished may be considered a gentleman..." The Code of a Gentleman
"A Gentleman makes a woman a lady, and a lady makes a man a gentleman." Sister Mary Eileen, former principal St. James School, Sewickley PA
I've grown up learning various values that would encourage me to what is called "Gentlemanly" conduct. There are numerous definitions of what constitutes a gentleman, or even of what defines manhood or masculinity. The Code of a Gentleman is not the only such code but it is the one I am familiar with and the basis of an Idea I wish to share with like minded men.
The Code of a gentleman, written on your right was the code of conduct taught to cadets at the Virginia Military Institute until 1997 when the admission of women to that institution necessitated a change in language. Yet those values are values that I embraced as a cadet and have attempted to live to the best of my ability ever since. Yet those same values are viewed often as archaic, belonging to a less enlightened time,and often rightly have been accused of being a part of a social system which, far from, creating an ideal code of conduct, created a veneer of decency over a core of corruption, abuse and social injustice.
However I would argue that it is not the values themselves that are failed, but the basic human inability to live up to any such standard perfectly and to keep oneself uncorrupted in the face of temptation, or opportunity, or advantage, that led to any abuses. My goal in creating this blog is to begin with a simple idea, that there is such a thing as a gentleman (and a lady for that matter) and that many such men and women exist. More importantly more would exist if there were a way to encourage the values of gentlemanly life in our time. Such men need a way to gather and to encourage this way of living.
I have chosen a blog for my starting point for this idea as it is the easiest way to test such an idea given the ability to simply connect people through social media and the internet. If this idea takes root who knows what may come about.
I am looking for gentlemen (and ladies too)who would agree with the virtues at right and who would likewise be open to more discussion on what makes a gentleman. Most men's magazines and forums are focused or what men "like" and tend to shape masculinity in the image of success, possessions, sexual prowess and appetite, physical appearance and strength. Even the term "Gentlemen's Club" connotes a place where men gather to stare at women in states of immodesty, likely over a significant amount of alcohol. Either that or the term "gentleman" can indicate a slightly less than masculine dandy or an man of mild manners who is "nice" in the sense of , "nice guys" who finish last. However, I chose the name, Gentlemen's Club for this idea specifically because I believe there is a need to reclaim the definition of a Gentleman from the state of disrepair it has fallen into. I hope to gain contributors who will write on all the usual subjects of a men's forum but with the distinct perspective of a shared value of those who live or attempt to live by "The Code".
I have the great privilege of knowing many such men already and hope to see them as a part of this experiment. If you find yourself to be a gentleman, or a lady who values gentlemen, I encourage you to keep in contact with this blog or share a contribution.
Until then, Be all that you resolve to be.
Mark
"A Gentleman makes a woman a lady, and a lady makes a man a gentleman." Sister Mary Eileen, former principal St. James School, Sewickley PA
I've grown up learning various values that would encourage me to what is called "Gentlemanly" conduct. There are numerous definitions of what constitutes a gentleman, or even of what defines manhood or masculinity. The Code of a Gentleman is not the only such code but it is the one I am familiar with and the basis of an Idea I wish to share with like minded men.
The Code of a gentleman, written on your right was the code of conduct taught to cadets at the Virginia Military Institute until 1997 when the admission of women to that institution necessitated a change in language. Yet those values are values that I embraced as a cadet and have attempted to live to the best of my ability ever since. Yet those same values are viewed often as archaic, belonging to a less enlightened time,and often rightly have been accused of being a part of a social system which, far from, creating an ideal code of conduct, created a veneer of decency over a core of corruption, abuse and social injustice.
However I would argue that it is not the values themselves that are failed, but the basic human inability to live up to any such standard perfectly and to keep oneself uncorrupted in the face of temptation, or opportunity, or advantage, that led to any abuses. My goal in creating this blog is to begin with a simple idea, that there is such a thing as a gentleman (and a lady for that matter) and that many such men and women exist. More importantly more would exist if there were a way to encourage the values of gentlemanly life in our time. Such men need a way to gather and to encourage this way of living.
I have chosen a blog for my starting point for this idea as it is the easiest way to test such an idea given the ability to simply connect people through social media and the internet. If this idea takes root who knows what may come about.
I am looking for gentlemen (and ladies too)who would agree with the virtues at right and who would likewise be open to more discussion on what makes a gentleman. Most men's magazines and forums are focused or what men "like" and tend to shape masculinity in the image of success, possessions, sexual prowess and appetite, physical appearance and strength. Even the term "Gentlemen's Club" connotes a place where men gather to stare at women in states of immodesty, likely over a significant amount of alcohol. Either that or the term "gentleman" can indicate a slightly less than masculine dandy or an man of mild manners who is "nice" in the sense of , "nice guys" who finish last. However, I chose the name, Gentlemen's Club for this idea specifically because I believe there is a need to reclaim the definition of a Gentleman from the state of disrepair it has fallen into. I hope to gain contributors who will write on all the usual subjects of a men's forum but with the distinct perspective of a shared value of those who live or attempt to live by "The Code".
I have the great privilege of knowing many such men already and hope to see them as a part of this experiment. If you find yourself to be a gentleman, or a lady who values gentlemen, I encourage you to keep in contact with this blog or share a contribution.
Until then, Be all that you resolve to be.
Mark
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