Real Ladies

"A Gentleman Never Discusses the merits or demerits of a lady." The Code

" A lady makes a man a gentleman, and a gentleman makes a woman a lady" Sister Mary Eileen

Today, via the wonders of social networking I was introduced to two outstanding ladies.  They are Madeleile McAulay, and Lolo Jones.  You can read more about them Here http://faithhopeandpolitics.com/ and Here http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/more-sports/track-star-lolo-jones-keeping-virginity-harder-training-olympics-article-1.1082882

I was impressed by both of these young women for their choices to publicly take a stand for something they believe in and for their willingness in doing so to suffer the wrath of those who would, rather than engaging in civil debate, subject them to mocking,vulgarity, and abuse for their stands.  Well for my part I want to give them honor for their stand.That is a very different thing than what the code refers to as discussing "the merits" of a lady . Discussing the merits (or demerits) can be anything from locker room talk to any dishonoring speech that attacks her as a person.

 In our modern age women are in the public and are engaged in the world of public opinion and politics.  As such they place themselves in a position, rightly so, I believe, of being heard as well as seen.  Gentlemen, and other ladies too, ought to engage them in civil and respectful debate that is honoring to their basic humanity and even more so their distinct worthiness as a lady.  Their ideas may be critiqued and corrected, debated and countered but their bodies, faces, or individual dignity are off limits if we are to be truly gentlemen (or ladies) as we engage them.  In other words If I can critique my fellow conservatives by way of example:  Nancy Pelosci's politics are fair game.  Her clothing, or appearance is out of bounds.

While a lady may not act like one it is never our business to treat her as anything else.  And likewise it is appropriate to give honor where it is due.  As my Middle School Principal, sister Mary Eileen taught us, Ladies can inspire us to be better Gentlemen.  Like Jack Nicholson's character in As Good as it Gets, "You make me want to be a better man." may be one of the highest compliments we can give a lady.  So as I am sure there are other ladies out there who may inspire us more than Miss McAulay, or Miss Jones, nevertheless I want to give them the honor that they are due.  Thank you ladies, for upholding virtue in the face of an unvirtuous world.  You have this aspiring gentleman's respect.

Be all you resolve to be.

Mark

Ordinary Heroes...Update

"He is the descendant of the knight, the crusader; he is the defender of the defenseless and the champion of justice… or he is not a Gentleman."

Not much commentary today.  Just an update on the little girl I talked about in my last post, and a recognition that evil exists and that it is not only the duty of a gentleman to combat evil, but it may even be a divine calling for some to be the instrument of justice and the eradication of that evil.

Here is what my friend Shannon wrote:
"As a means of an update this what the little girl's arm looked like when she arrived at the Field Surgical Team....in this area boiling water on the arm or legs is a common thing to do to children."

The soldiers who do what they do are worthy of double honor not only in their "bearing the sword" against evil, but in their work as ministers of mercy in getting this little one to care that she would not have received otherwise.  

Be what you resolve to be,

Mark

Ordinary Heroes...

" He is the descendant of the knight, the crusader; he is the defender of the defenseless and the champion of justice… "

 This photo:

Could inspire a lot of topics, humanitarian, patriotic, political or any number of other directions that are unrelated to the topic of this blog. Yet I am inspired to write on an often overused subject here, that of heroism. It would seem that the word "hero" gets two kinds of abuse: It gets elevated to the level of the extraordinary to a point where an ordinary man might never feel that he can measure up or do what it takes to be even remotely heroic, or, it is cheapened by overuse to where it is so mundane real heroes go unseen because their deeds are not eclipsed, but fail to truly shine noticeably due to the incessant flashbulbs of temporary glories that distract the attention and fill our minds and media screens with so many heroes that we cannot begin to consider each story or the merits of appellation "hero" in it.

Yet if we learned anything else in the past two weeks by the massive box office take of "The Avengers" is that we have an appetite for heroes. We love to see someone step up and overcome impossible odds to defeat an evil that we recognize not because of any particular creed or law we have accepted but by our visceral and innate reaction to it. We root for the underdog naturally and love to see him rise up and kick butt and take names. Now I have not watched the new film but I have watched several of the films leading up to it (the "Iron Man" movies, "The Incredible Hulk", and my favorite so far "Captain America"). I even subjected myself to a bit of teasing for my nerdiness (which I don't disavow, if it is charged for the right reasons) in identifying with Captain America. What I identify with in "Cap", I feel odd calling him that since I am not a true comic book geek, is the fact that, like me, he is an anachronism (as this blog, and the music playing while I write, is an example), and he, in his own words, "hates bullies".

Which brings me back to the picture. The photo comes from an officer in the United states Army and a classmate of mine from VMI. His description of the photo follows in the link to facebook where he shared it:

"This is a 3 year old girl. The Taliban dipped her arm in boiling water because her dad owed them. They laughed at him and his inability to protect his family. When we arrived her skin was dripping off and the arm was almost 3 times in size...so much so the knuckles split while we watched...I wonder where was the NY Times or the Washington Post or the LA Times? Where are the Blaine Wiltseys of the world to defend all that free press? Where were YOU when the Afghan Soldiers and Americans together braved IEDs and an ambush to get her to the doctors...and they all did it with a serious committed smile and a humor that only Soldiers know, no questions, just a Hoah or roger that or a get your kit on. This won't even be a footnote...a battle in a meaningless town...except those who were there...and obvious absence of those who will have all sorts of opinions...that's a real Soldier's eye view of Afghanistan."

The story is heroic for two reasons. First, the soldiers did what they did not for a strategic objective but for the intrinsically valuable life of a child not their own and second, the did what they did without credit. In the comments following the photo I noticed one very important thing to our discussion of heroes and gentlemen. My friend, when he is offered praise for his work defers that praise to the "30 Paratroopers and Afghans" who did "the work" as he calls it, though I'd say, and he'd never admit it, from his other pictures I've seen he does his share. But that's the point. There's no high fives, no victory laps. A Hero, a gentleman does what he does and defers praise and glory to others. This is what makes this kind of heroism what I would call "ordinary heroism", and the very best kind.

It is not so much that a hero is a gentleman but that a gentleman is a hero. He defends the weak and defenseless, with or without high-tech weapons or superpowers because it is in the ordinary course of doing the work, living life and doing the right thing because it is the right thing. The gentleman and ordinary hero does what he does and avoids thoughts of self-preservation or political expediency, comfort or convenience, whether in combat or in the office, confronted by a vicious enemy or a crying child. When "The Code" calls a gentleman "the descendant of the knight, the crusader...the defender of the defenseless and the champion of justice…" that is true of him in any setting and in any work.

I am grateful too for the extraordinary heroes whose courage begets courage, integrity begets integrity, honor begets honor, and who inspire ordinary men to be ordinary heroes.

Be what you resolve to be.

Mark